How to Find Your Purpose

This has always been a nebulous, esoteric question: What is your purpose?

Is it to have kids, have a family? Get a good job? Make good money?

Or is it… creating change with your art? Making people smile with your cooking? Inspiring kids to live a better life?

For me, I’ve always known my purpose: to make people happy. I love to put smiles on people’s faces! Whether it’s telling a funny joke, baking them some cupcakes to celebrate their new job, or just listening to worries and offering them a shoulder to cry on, it has always brought me much joy to make other people’s faces light up with a smile.

However, being in a rut can bring you down. I know that I had lost all sense of my purpose after two years of slaving away at my job. It wasn’t until I traveled to Thailand that I remembered why I was put on this earth. Here is a poem to describe my purpose:

PURPOSE by Alicia Ying

I believe that anything is possible.

I believe that true love exists.

I believe that happily ever afters can happen.

I believe that you can find your bliss.

 

I believe in doing what you love.

I believe in loving what you do.

I believe in letting your inner beauty shine.

I believe in being the truest form of you.

 

You can pursue your passion.

You can live out your dreams.

You can turn them into reality.

The impossible is not as impossible as it seems.

 

There is a solution.

There is always a way.

I can help you find it.

Let’s make it happen, what do you say?

My purpose in life is to inspire people to discover themselves and start doing what they love for a living. Being a creative, it can be hard to turn that passion into a paycheck, but pursuing my passion for helping people has been more rewarding than any other regular job that I’ve ever had.

Here is why finding your purpose is so important:

Your purpose is the reason you get out of bed in the morning.

Your purpose anchors you when times are tough.

Your purpose fuels your fire to get the job done.

In order to find your purpose, ask yourself the following questions:

1. What are you passionate about? What excites you? What makes your eyes light up? Is it writing? Painting? Making sculptures? Helping people? Feeding the homeless? Traveling?  Making lists? Organizing? Sketching new designs? Photography? Cooking? Baking? Giving gifts? Party planning? Volunteering? Working with animals?

2. When are you happiest? What things make you happy? What puts a smile on your face? Are you happiest when you are with your friends? Watching TV? Singing karaoke? Alone reading a book? Knitting? Cooking? Eating a delicious meal? Meeting new people? Connecting? Accomplishing a new skill? Receiving flowers? Watching the sun rise? Watching the sun set? Walking along the beach? Taking a hike up the mountains? Doing a yoga class? Meditating? Giving a hug? Receiving a hug?

3. If money were no object, what would you want to do with your life? How would you spend your days? Who would you spend your time with? Would you be working with orphans in an ashram in India? Travel the world? Work with wildlife? Lock yourself up in a room and paint beautiful paintings all day? Sail off into the sunset on a private yacht with your loved ones? With yourself? Create films with your friends? Write stories that you want to tell? Make youtube cover song videos of every single country song that you love? Learn kung fu from a kung fu master in China?

Now look at your list and look for a trend. What do all these things have in common? What is the through line? Your purpose doesn’t have to be complicated either. It could be simple. To help people. To discover the world. To make art. To inspire the world. To create a change. To make an impact.

Find that purpose and start fueling that purpose/passion in life. You can do what you love for a living. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Reignite your purpose whenever you are lost. It will always be your North Star!

What’s your purpose? Comment below! I’d love to hear what you were meant to do in this world!

Much Love,

Alicia

How to Find your Soulmate in 5 Easy Steps

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I am dedicating this post to all of you singles out there who want to find your soulmate. Love is possible. Happily ever afters exist. There is someone out there who is searching for someone like you as we speak! Believe it because it happened to me. Yup, I found my soulmate while traveling in Thailand and we fell in love. I’m not talking about the three-day romance or the steamy few night hook ups with a hottie. I’m talking about that incredible “you complete me” connection of mind, body, and soul. The stuff that fairy tales are made of. The love that lasts a lifetime.

NOTE: These tips are for both guys AND gals. I’m just using the masculine pronoun to make it easier to read.

How to find your soul mate in 5 easy steps:

1. Decide what you want. If you’re not ready, he will not come. I know from first hand experience, that every time you say, “I want a boyfriend” but deep down you’re not ready, your soulmate will not come. You may meet guys who only want sex or who are not looking for a relationship. The moment you decide that you are ready and open and willing to meet your soulmate, he will appear.

2. Be available and open. Meet people. Stay at a hostel. Go to Full Moon Parties and group adventures. Strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to you on the ferry. You never know if they are going to introduce you to your soulmate. And allow yourself to be surprised! The love of your life may not come in the package that you had always imagined. My soulmate was not my usual Abercrombie all-American type and yet, I was really attracted to him. He made me feel beautiful, not just hot or sexy, but beautiful. And he made me laugh! He made my heart sing. Best of all, he brought out the best in me. He saw the kindness in my heart and celebrated that. So, take a chance! YES TO THE YING TIP: It doesn’t matter what he looks like, but how he makes you feel.

3. Ask questions. Connect! This is easiest to do when traveling. Ask him where he has traveled to, which city has been his favorite, what adventures he wants to do while he’s abroad. The best way to connect is to find something that you agree on. So, talk to him. Listen. And hopefully you’ll find things that you have in common. For me and my soulmate, we started a strong connection because we both have fathers who left us when we were young. I shared my story and asked him about his. Turns out they were surprisingly similar. We understood what the other one went through and the connection kept growing from there.

4. Be yourself. I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “le DUH! I know that!”, but it’s so easy to try and impress someone by trying to be something that you think they want. The moment I dropped down my walls and just spoke from my heart, we started to really fall in love with each other. Inner beauty trumps outer beauty every time. Being who you truly are will attract the right guy to you. Even the guys who just want sex will respect you more if you stay true to who you are without the walls. You attract what you are, so be yourself, know that you are worth it, and you will attract the person that best compliments you!

5. Trust that the Universe is on your side. I was really down and out because I had a death grip on my need to find my soulmate and had been visualizing everyday for a month exactly how we were going to meet and fall in love. When it didn’t happen on the plane like I thought it would, I was devastated. I started to lose faith. Then I remembered that The Universe is on my side and is going to bring my soulmate to me in a way better than anything I could have imagined. I had to release my desperate need to find him and remember that The Universe works in mysterious ways, that I just needed to  put my desire out there. Well– sure enough, once I allowed The Universe to handle all the details, I met him two days later on a train. It turned out to be a better story than I could have imagined! Trust that The Universe has your back. It’s taken care of you thus far, right?

I hope this inspires you to find your soulmate and feel the excitement and joy that I experienced.  Declare. Release. Rejoice. Your soulmate is out there! Subscribe to my blog for more tips on how to attract the man/woman that you want!

Much Love,

Alicia

 

10 Steps to Discovering Yourself

One of the gifts I received from traveling was discovering who I truly am. I came back from Thailand a different person. Not different in a bad way, different in a good way. I was brighter, happier, and more confident. Apparently, there is a constant glow emanating from me. I was owning and loving who I was and my friends were dying to know my secret to discovering myself. Here are 5 tips to discover yourself and find your bliss:

1. Get out of your normal environment. Travel out of the country. If you need an immediate change, drive a little out of town. Head to the beach. Go for a hike. Explore a small town. Go to a B&B. Change of environment is a valid form of therapy. Often times, we are stuck in our rut of going to the same job, the same coffee shops, seeing the same things day in and day out. Go somewhere that is completely different from your current environment to get space and allow yourself the time to decompress and destimulate from those things that stress you out.

2. Meet new people. Connect. Listen to their stories and learn from them. Ask people to tell you their story. Some people you will connect with; some people you won’t. But you can learn from each person and discover what you like, what you dislike, whether you want to be around that kind of person or around someone different. Find people who are like-minded. Who excites you? Who brings out the best in you? Who makes you feel inhibited? Who tickles your fancy? Who do you see eye to eye with? What stories resonate with you?

 3. Put down your phone. Unplug. Life is happening all around you, not only on social media. While it is important to stay connected, discovering yourself starts to happen when you are experiencing life right here right now.  Observe the world in front of you. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell? What excites you about your surroundings? What do you not like? Make a note of things that do light up your eyes and begin doing more of those activities.  If you are addicted to social media like I am, allot only 30 minutes twice a day to check it and upload pictures. Then put your phone away. Or put it on airplane mode so you are not tempted to check it.

4. Journal. Start making a list of things that you do like, things that you are grateful for, and things that you discover about yourself. Reflection is always important and keeping a log of it will help you analyze your actions to determine what you love most about yourself.

 5. Listen to your intuition and gut.  Once you have removed yourself from the triggers of your current environment, you can start tapping into your intuition more. What does it say? How do you like to feel? What do you like to do most? When do you feel most free? When do you have the most fun? Take a moment and ask yourself these questions. Journal it out.

 6. Confront your fears. Take some time to reflect. What about your life is working? What isn’t working? What is your fear? Do you have a fear of never finding love? Not being good enough? Never achieving success? Own up and acknowledge that fear. Once you acknowledge what you are afraid of, you can start to find solutions to conquer that fear.

 7. Embrace who you are, flaws and all. Be kind to yourself. What kind of things are you saying to yourself? If you are constantly putting yourself down, ask yourself: Would I allow my best friend to say these things to me? If not, then stop saying them to yourself! You are your own best friend. Love yourself, and more people will fall in love with you. People are a lot kinder than you may think.  Yes, there are always going to be naysayers and people being a**holes to you, but for the most part, we all know that we are not perfect.  And that’s what makes us special. So accept yourself as you are. With makeup or without. Clothes matching or completely clashing. Who cares? What matters is if you are coming from a genuine place. Where you are acting from your heart and your soul. People love others who are genuine and real. So… Just be you. You are enough.

 8. Try something new. Do something you’ve never done before. This is all about discovering what really excites you and lights your heart on fire! Try new food, take a pottery class, go sky diving, sing a song at a karaoke bar, try on clothes you normally wouldn’t wear, snorkel with some sharks, visit a temple, talk to someone you normally wouldn’t talk to. Do something out of the ordinary. You just might discover a new passion you never thought of before!

 9. Live in the present moment. Here’s an easy way to get into the present moment: take a walk and start observing the things around you. Ask yourself: What do I see? What do I notice? Answer the question. I see a… red car. Good! I see… a cute dog. Good! I see… the waves crashing into the sand. Good! Notice things close to you. Notice things far away from you. Keep doing that until you feel that you are in the current moment. You’ll start to realize where you physically are. When we are bogged down with life and stress, we tend to go into our heads worrying about this and that. Once that happens, we are no longer in the present moment. We are either pining about the past or freaking out about the future. Neither of which is helpful in discovering who we are in this present moment.

 10. Relax. Meditate. Just watch the waves lap against the shore or watch people walking down the street for 5-10 minutes. Allow your mind to focus on what is in front of you and release it from worrying about what is behind you or ahead of you. Again, begin to focus on what is in front of you. Give your mind a chance to relax. Allow your intuition to speak up. Once you release your grip on your problems or worries, your inner genius will start to work and before you know it, inspiration will pop into your head. Solutions will start to appear as you explore the sights around you.

What things have you done to help you discover yourself? Leave your experiences in the comment section below. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Much love,

Alicia

How to tell if you’re in a toxic relationship

Are you questioning the friends in your life? Not sure if your significant other is good for you?

We live in a world where man is basically good. However, there are people out there who are what I call “emotional vampires.” They suck your energy and your love away from you until you are drained, unhappy, and exhausted. Often times, these toxic people are so good at hiding their desire to cause pain and havoc, that they seem so kind and warm on the outside. Don’t be fooled. Use the questions below to determine their true intentions. If you find that they are not making you happy, cut them out of your life. You don’t need any of them!! In order to live a truly happy life, tell them to get lost and kick them to the curb!

Here is a quick way to determine whether someone is an emotional vampire/a toxic person in your life. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Does this person spread good news or do they twist the fact and always gossip? A tell-tale sign of a toxic person is that they tend to bend the facts to make someone else look bad and spread hate and gossip.

2. Does this person accept responsibility for their actions? Genuine good people don’t like to hurt others and will own up to their mistakes in order to further improve their relationships with their loved ones. Toxic people will play the blame game and use any kind of manipulative talk to guilt-trip you or make you feel like you were the one that caused all the trouble in the first place. This kind of behavior is abusive. Don’t fall into the trap. Tell them to kick rocks and cut them out of your life!

3. What do we talk about when we get together? If your friend/SO is constantly complaining about their problems and rarely listening or giving you support on your life, then this person is in a victim state and wants you to smother you with depression. Cut them loose. Again, we all go through rough times, but if it is a constant trend, it’s all about them. They really don’t care about you.

4. How do I feel after I hang out with this person? Here’s something you can always trust: how you feel. If you feel happy and energized, this person is a friend. Keep them around. If you feel drained, upset, angry, confused, worried, or insecure on a regular basis after hanging out with them, then this person is TOXIC. Yes, we all have bad days go through our own sh*t, but your friend shouldn’t be bringing you down every time you talk to them. If they are, CUT THEM LOOSE. They are only bringing you down in their sinking ship.

YES TO THE YING TIP: Make a list of current people in your life. Who do you get excited to see? Who do you feel obligated to see? Who brings joy into your life? Who brings you down? Create two columns: Brings me joy, Brings me down. Write down each person in the column. The ones on the “Bring me down” column– eliminate them from your life. That’s not to say you have to block them on Facebook or have a dramatic falling out. But start spending less time with them and see how you feel. I guarantee you’ll feel a lot better!

What experiences have you had with toxic people? How did you handle getting rid of them?

xoxo, A

 

3 New Habits for a Brand New Year

It’s hard not to slip back into old habits when you get back home. I’ve been back home in LA for about a week, and everything is just… different.  Eating out is expensive, I’m driving everywhere instead of walking, and there just seems to be much less stimulus to keep my attention and keep me excited. It all seems to familiar, too much of the same.

Last night as I was catching up on all of my old TV shows, I realized that I was slipping into a hypnotic state of boredom. Where was all the excitement?? Where was all the adventure?? I switched my TV off and immediately took in my surroundings. What could I DO that would bring more of that wonderment and joy into my current LA life?

I loved my life on the road, so I decided I wanted to keep as much of that as possible. Here are a few habits I am bringing back into my LA life:

1. Live a lot more on a whole lot less. Less is more, right? I only had 1 suitcase and 1 backpack full of clothes and personal items the entire month. And I got along just fine. It actually made my life simpler because I had less clothes to choose from. Picking my outfit out for the day was so much easier when I only had 3 shirts to choose from! In order to implement this in my LA life, I went to my closet and CLEANED IT OUT.  YES TO THE YING TIP: When cleaning out your closet/apartment, ask yourself this simple question: if I saw this in the store today, would I buy it? If the answer is no, chuck it. You’ll easily get rid of at least 25% of your stuff. I parted with 2 trash bags full of clothes!

2. Simplify your morning routine. On the road, I was so tired from the previous night’s extravaganzas that I ended up waking up in the morning, throwing on clothes, and running out the door. Okay, maybe it was a little more than that (I did wash my face and brush my teeth), but my normal routine in LA took me almost 2 hours to get ready for the day (I was SO that girl lol). What a waste!! So now I wake up, write in my gratitude journal for 5 minutes, brush my teeth, wash my face, put on some makeup (10 min tops– watch my video on how to put on a natural face in 5 minutes), throw on some clothes, and I am out the door! All in 30 minutes or less.  YES TO THE YING TIP: Take a shower and wash your hair at night. It’s a great way to save time in the morning and it also feels great to wash off the grime of the day.

3. Listen to your body. I’m super body-conscious (I live in LA, le duh!), but I love to eat. On this trip to Thailand, I decided to f*ck it and eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. The only rule I gave myself was to listen to what my body wanted. If it wanted chicken, I ate chicken. If it was tired of eggs, I ate muesli instead. If I felt dehydrated, I drank water (or coconut water– mmm!). If I needed to sleep, I SLEPT. Sleep is so important.  I get the whole “You can sleep when you’re dead” motto, but I can’t enjoy my beautiful surroundings if I can’t see straight. Just sayin’.  YES TO THE YING TIP: A great tip from my dad– Stop eating when you are full. I have this thing about being wasteful, so I usually clean my plate regardless of whether I want the food or not. My dad made a good point though: if your goal is to be skinnier or in better shape, then eating less is more of a priority. Don’t worry about being wasteful. Eat enough. Then stop. Confession: I applied that principle while I was traveling, and surprise surprise, even though I ate carbs at every meal, I totally lost weight!! Comparing the pictures from the beginning of my trip to at the end, the difference is apparent and undeniable. Dad was right. I’m definitely continuing this practice in LA!

I’m sure there are more ways of living that I adopted along the way. I’ll write another post with more! Please leave comments below and let me know if these work for you or if you have other habits that have helped you!

xoxo

Alicia

 

 

3 Steps to Finding Where You Belong

I feel like it is difficult to find a place where you belong in LA. Yesterday, a girl friend of mine confessed that she didn’t feel like she belonged in her acting school, like people in her class didn’t care about whether she was there or not. She wanted to find her home, a place where she felt like she was welcomed and accepted. A place where she “fit in”.  I totally got it. I understood exactly where she was coming from. It completely reminded me of how I felt before I left LA. I felt alone even though I was surrounded by “friends.” I felt hollow because I kept on trying to act like the people in my crew. There wasn’t a place where I could truly be myself and be accepted. I wanted to find a place where I belonged. (Cue music: “Go The Distance” from Disney’s “Hercules”)

For those of you who don’t know, I went to Thailand for a month. Part of it was to have a backpacking adventure. The other part was to meet my dad who I hadn’t seen in 20 years. #FREAKOUT! This trip ended up being everything I wanted and more. As cheesy as it sounds, it was truly life-changing. I’ve always known who I was, but I didn’t know where I belonged. And for the first time in forever, I found everything my heart was desiring– I found my HOME♥ Here is how I found out where I belonged:

1. Get out of your normal space. Change of environment is a valid form of therapy. Granted, you don’t have to go to Thailand. Or even make an extensive trip. But if you are needing to find yourself, get out of your house. Go on a hike up to a peaceful look out. Or take yourself to a quiet beach. Somewhere that is beautiful to you. For me, it was Thailand. Naturally, I was able to drop the heavy loads of stress I had been carrying in LA. Completely surrounded by beaches that were truly paradise, water so blue and clear, lagoons and jungles that made me feel like I was in Neverland, I was able to let my worries fly away. With all these new exciting sights and sounds and people and food, it was impossible to not truly live in the present moment and really LIVE. I felt RADIANT, VIBRANT, ENGAGED, and full of LOVE. So this is what true living felt like! Give me more, please!

2. Get to know other people. Seriously– take a few moments and really ask someone else how they are and what they are doing. Find out their story. The moment you start being interested in someone else’s life, you’ll start to discover what really matters to you and what kind of friends you want and value. One of the biggest gifts this trip gave me were the friendships I made along the way. I finally felt CONNECTED. I met the most wonderful people on this journey! I bonded with wonderful Brits, Germans, Swiss, Dutch, Canadians, Spaniards, Texans, Utah, New Yorkers, and even made some delightful Thai friends. My favorites were these amazingly kind-hearted and like-minded Canadian girls who are now my life-long friends. Everyone was so open (it was hard not to be when you’re backpacking), so we were able to click and make a connection instantaneously. The bond became so strong as we explored each city and island with each other. Going on these adventures brought us closer together and magical memories were made. Laughter, adventure, exploration, dinners, parties, dancing, swimming, playing, shopping, getting massages, living! “Unbelievable sights, indescribable feelings…” To get beyond the palace walls of LA was invigorating! (Cue music: “A Whole New World” from Disney’s “Aladdin”). Each person was so special and had such an interesting story to tell. I enjoyed getting to know each one. I discovered what kind of people were “my kind of people” and who I wanted to spend my time with. They all have a special place in my heart.

3. Fall in love. WITH YOURSELF. Easier said than done, I know. But start to ask yourself: what do I like about myself? Sure, it can be your abs or your hair. More importantly, ask yourself: what are the qualities about me that I like? Am I creative? A good listener? Funny? Charming? Start to build a list of all the wonderful things that you are. I’ll bet there’s quite a bit of great stuff there! For me, I started seeing my natural beauty and it was pretty humbling. I had people tell me to stop worrying about whether I had makeup on or if my clothes matched or not. “STOP BEING SO LA!” a Texan told me. “You’re a nice girl. So sweet with a big heart. I like that about you,” a Dutch said. “You’re beautiful because of what shines out from your heart. You are so caring and kind and warm-hearted and generous. That’s what we love about you. That’s what makes you beautiful to me,” confessed a Canadian. I was moved to tears. The concept of inner beauty finally clicked in my head and I was finally able to embrace my own beauty and worth. I didn’t have to try so hard anymore. I could finally breathe. Oddly enough, it was effortless to be that way. Because it was just being who I already was  And I like the girl that I am. She’s pretty cool. Even if she is a bit of a princess sometimes 🙂

You’ll start to meet like-minded people who love you for all that you are and who lift you higher. When they come into your life, welcome them with open arms.  The place where you belong is wherever you are in your heart.  It doesn’t matter whether you are in the shittiest hotel or living in the grandest palace. All that matters is who you are with. Find yourself and you’ll find your family. Find your family and you will find where you belong.

xoxo

A

“Ohana means family. And family means no one gets left behind. Or forgotten.” -Lilo and Stitch